By Gawd, It's Sidney!

I now live on the southern tip of Vancouver Island, in beautiful Sidney, British Columbia.

If you aren't from the area, you can be forgiven for not knowing where Sidney is. I admit, when asked where I live, I usually reply ‘Victoria’, which is the capital of British Columbia and just 22 kilometers south of here. Unfortunately, this convenient device sometimes causes additional confusion if the inquirer wants to know WHERE in Victoria I live. Then, I have to confess that I don’t actually live in Victoria at all; I live in Sidney.

Not that I am ashamed to admit that I live in Sidney. It is truly a beautiful little town. However, I have found out the hard way that by volunteering outright that I live in Sidney usually provokes either a blank stare and a stoic ‘Uh-huh’, or, more likely, a complete misunderstanding. When mentioning the town’s name, most people think I am talking about Australia. These people are impressed, until I have to explain that I do not live Down Under. A few people, recognizing and acknowledging my Canadian accent, might think that I am talking about Nova Scotia; and they are not [impressed, that is]. On one memorable Air Canada flight the nice lady in the adjoining seat learned that I live in Sidey, turned to me, and asked in all innocence: "Are you close to the Tar Ponds?"

First of all, to set the record straight, the name of the town is really Sidney-By-The-Sea. [Americans think that is really two phrases; [Sidney! Buy the sea!] Sidney is surrounded on three sides by the sparking waters of the Pacific Ocean. I can only assume that the ‘other’ towns with similar names are nowhere near water.

Furthermore, as the locals here will say with a smile and a nudge, “You gotta have an ‘I’ For Sidney!” And then they get quite a chuckle at their own little joke; a real knee-slapper! Unfortunately, they haul out this tag-line whenever and wherever they can. Apparently each one thinks it a refreshing and original contribution to the sociological fabric of the area. It seems that new jokes rarely appear in town, and, like most other occupants of the town, the raconteur of the little joke sees no need to adopt something new and original when the old tried-and-true still works perfectly fine, as far as they are concerned.

The fact is, ‘Sidney’ is spelled with an ‘I’; the other two interlopers are spelled with a ‘Y’, as in ‘Sydney’. Thus, ‘my’ Sidney, [By-The-Sea], is set apart from the other pretenders with a similar name on this miserable planet.

Sidney is a little sea-side town of 11,000 souls that huddles on the north-eastern end of the Saanich Penninsula, which is located on the southern tip of Vancouver Island. For the geographically challenged, Vancouver Island is located directly to the west of Vancouver. Sidney is thus some 24 kilometers almost due south of Vancouver.

Originally primarily just a fishing and lumbering community at the time of its founding, and then a bedroom community for the ‘ne’er-do-wells’ who worked in Victoria, the town became a popular retirement community in the 70s, [the 1970s, that is]. Recently the town has benefited from its proximity to the big Schwartz Bay Ferry Terminal, (four km, to the north), and to Victoria International Airport, (.just 2 km to the west). Schwartz Bay is the island terminus for the busy BC Ferries Vancouver / Victoria route from the mainland, and is thus one of the prime gateways for visitors entering or, (more likely), leaving Vancouver Island.

In fact, most of the Camper-Car and Cycle crowd, (the locals, bad spellers all, call them the KKK crowd), bolting off the just-docked ferry, are determined to roar full throttle down the Patricia [Pat] Bay Highway to make up for lost time. Hands firmly clenched on the wheel while the wife unfolds the map into their line-of-sight, the drivers, between whacking the sugar-infused kids rampaging in the back seat, are invariably focused solely on belting out the 26 km south to Victoria just as rapidly as possibly. [In fact, one thing to which I was forced to acclimate is local Ferry Time. Every two hours, (every hour in the summer and on Long Weekends) the highway is instantly clogged for 15 minutes by the throng going Hell-Bent for Mile Zero. You either get outta town before the rush, or wait the 15 minutes for the smog to clear and for the broken glass, assorted auto parts and slow pets to be swept from the intersections].

At best the constituents of the rather indelicately named Ferry Dump might get a fleeting glimpse of the town if they are unlucky enough to get stopped by a red light where the town’s main drag, Beacon Avenue, intersects the Pat Bay Highway. Unfortunately, all that is to be seen of lovely little Sidney from the highway is a ubiquitous MacDonald’s Restaurant, in front of which is sitting the freshly painted but badly battered little fishing boat called the Wanda. As an ultimate disgrace, this once-proud and hard-working craft has been wrenched from the clear Pacific waters it once plied, dragged over town and dumped on the corner of the highway intersection. There, in forced retirement, it was abandoned and largely ignored, decked with potted plants, and left high-and-dry to rot and wither to a slow and miserable death on the baking asphalt and in the choking fumes from the busy highway just to the west.

Obviously somebody thought that this symbology was an entirely suitable welcome to the town!

And if this all were too subtle for the wary visitor who might be tempted to turn off the Swartz Bay Speedway to refuel, find something to eat and maybe see a little of the town, the scrolled sign erected right across the street proudly proclaims: “Sidney By The Sea”. In the background of the sign is a rendition of Mount Baker; an extict, (we hope), snow-capped volcanoe that is visible from here. Unfortunately, the artistic license taken with the water also shows what appears to be a giant Tsunami wave approaching the shore. Not funny if you live just two short blocks from and only 20 feet above sea level, as I do. (Come to think of it, we also live on an earthquake zone, surrounded by volcanic mountains - I better check the insurance policy. ) This work of welcome, which many residents sniff is not worth the $30,000 price tag, ranks right up there with the second sign that you see when entering the town, which is ‘Slow Childern Playing’.

A Myth-Take

A few quick myths to dispell. First of all, Sidney is Sunny. It averages 2080 hours of sunshine a year, which makes it the sunniest place in all of BC, and more sunny than the city from which I moved; Ottawa, Ontario.

Secondly, Sidney is a relatively dry climate. It rarely snows; just a skiff once or maybe twice a year in the winter and it is pretty well gone by noon. (There have been a few notable exceptions to this, such as the 17 cm snow dump they got this year). As for rain, Sidney is the dryest spot on the West Coast, and gets half the amount of rain that Vancouver does.

Moderated by the Pacific waters, Sidney has a very temperate climate. The average temperature in the coldest month, January, is four degrees centigrade, and rises to just 16 degrees in the warmest summer months.

Thirdly, there are more than 40 restaurants right in the small town (Sidney is only 1.2 miles wide and maybe 3 miles long). It is hemmed in by the freeway and the airport to the west, by the Pacific Ocean to the north and east, and by agricultural land and Indian Reserves to the south.

A friend of a friend, learning that his buddy was moving to Sidney commented: "Nice town, but it has no restaurants!" Wrong! Sidney has fast food, (Dairy Queen, MacDonalds, Panagos, 2 Starbucks-Satans, Subway & KFC), 4 Greek restaurants, at least 2 Fish & Chip shops, 2 Chinese Food restaurants, 1 Japanese restaurant, 1 Thai Food restaurant, 1 Swiss, 1 Mexican, 4 pub-restaurants, 1 Meditteranean restaurant, seafood restaurants, at least 4 fine dining restaurants, as well as many bakeries, deleis, sandwich shops, pizza shops, bistros, sidewalk cafes, the Legion Takeout window, The Big Moo Ice Cream Shop, (voted Best On The Island), and assorted eateries of all types right in town. Two of Sidey's restaurants were voted into the Top Five Best Restaurants by the Victoria Times Colonist newspaper. You could eat at a different establishment each night for a month and still have lots left over to try out next month.

Finally; they don't exactly roll up the sidewalks at night. In the first case, you must remember that Sidney is a retirement town. However, during the day there are lots of seniors walking about, doing their shoping, socializing and generally enjoying the day. So many, in fact, that I call the place Scooterville. (Some of the most vicious jostling to be seen anywhere occurs at over the plug-in outside the Legion parking lot just before Happy Hour on the day after the government pension cheques arrive.)

Beacon and Bevan Avenues, the main business streets, are a bustling place and anytime after noon it can be impossible to find a place to park there, as will be the case in the Sidney Foodliner, Thrifty's and Safeway's parking lots. In point of fact, the liquor store in the Safeways lot is consistently among the highest grossing stores per square foot in the whole province!

A happening place during the day, Sidney is 'a little quiet' at night. By 5:30 you could shoot a cannon off right on mainstreet, and nobody would get hit! Wall-to-wall scooters, bi-cycles, Smart Cars and Land Rovers are replaced by tumbleweed and blowing newspapers. Where does everyone go? Even the local restaurants shut their doors and turn out the lights at 9 pm! The only thing open after 9 pm is one Starbucks, and the four local pub-restaurants, (as well as the fast food joints and the chinese restaurants).

However; with the arrival of summer the Summer Market takes place on Thursday nights. The main street, Beacon Avenue, is closed-off, and a variety of small booths and mini-doughnut vendors take over. (Oddly; Sidney residents really go for the tastey little treats; there the usual snow-cones, hot dogs and hot nuts for sale, but the line-ups are at the three mini-doughnut booths).

Furthermore, with the many boaters now roaming around the town, the odd bus-load of day tourists from Victoria and the twice-daily ferry run from Anacortes, Washington, the downtown picks up the pace considerably in the evenings. There are now at least 3 coffee shops open until 9 pm.

Ah yes, dear old Sidney; I can hardly wait to tell you all about it!

Douglas A.,

Out Sidney way

Saying ‘No Worries’ for now.